LoveToKnow EngagementRings:AllComments

From LoveToKnow EngagementRings

Comments

D - You're making the right choice to be sure you've discussed all necessary issues before getting engaged. It might be difficult, but it's better to work out any issues or concerns now rather than suffer through a broken engagement (or worse) if you discover insurmountable differences later. Our article Should Engaged Couples Go to Counseling may help.

-- Contributed by: Mayntz

I'm in my my late 20s and My girlfriend has been pressing for engagement and time frame. We have been seriously dating for 6 months and we were together in very causal dating situations for the prior 10 months. I feel I need to have a number of core issues and expectations discussed to make sure we have a mutual understanding on. I hope we'll go to a few premarital counseling sessions, but for now we are just going through a premarital book. My thought before entering into a committed relationship with her was I needed at least a year to be with her seriously before I made any jump into engagement.

-- Contributed by: d

Patiently Waiting - You need to decide just how patient you want to be. If his reasons for not being ready to marry make sense to you -- staying in school, wanting to save up financially, etc. -- then it speaks well of him for wanting to have a wonderful, stable marriage rather than rush into one. If, however, he is unable to give good reasons he may be struggling with the idea of a lifelong committment. You could go to counseling to help him work through any issues he may be facing, or just talk to him patiently and sincerely about your plans together. Above all, do not use leaving as a threat to force him into a marriage he isn't ready for - that isn't the way to show trust, love, and support to a future spouse. Best wishes!

-- Contributed by: Mayntz

I am a 28 year old woman with a boyfriend of almost 3 years. He is 24 turning 25 in May. He says that he wants to marry me, however, he is not ready. I am very ready to get married right now. I am frustrated yet i love him enough to wait for him. When should i consider leaving if he still does not want to marry?

-- Contributed by: patiently waiting

DeeDee -- Yes, it can be difficult to see someone you care about who seems to be jumping into marriage younger than may be suitable. You are doing the right thing, however, by being supportive and letting them make their own decision. Even if you did not support their choice, it is something they need to work out as a couple. Best wishes to you and your partner!

-- Contributed by: Mayntz

Myself and my partner met at 16 and have been together for 8 years and only now really thinking of getting engaged and married. We have grown up together, and now feel ready to show our love to everyone via marriage. My main concern over the last few months has been my sister in law. She is 17 and marrying a 24 year after knowing each other for a year. Being my partners lttle sister we were a little concerned, the wedding is next year. And after all it is her decision, and we will be here for her no matter what her choice. As myself at that age were different i seen the world enjoyed my youth, only now thinking about marriage. But everyone is different. All we can do is let them live their own lives.

-- Contributed by: DeeDee24

At the age of 17,I met my significant other. I moved out not too long after and have lived on my own since. The past couple years I've worked several jobs to support myself through college, now its coming to an end. Sometimes a 21 year old is def. more responsible than a 24-25 year old who has been pampered to all their life. Maturity should be the issue. Not the age necesssarily.

-- Contributed by: Amber
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