LoveToKnow EngagementRings:AllComments

From LoveToKnow EngagementRings

Comments

Thank you for your comment, Ricky. Most couples will take the cost that guests are facing when attending a wedding abroad into account when planning their wedding and will put together a wedding gift list accordingly. If they have not stated what they wish people to do about gifts then perhaps you could tactfully have a word and establish what their requirements are. You should never, however, feel obliged to spend more on a gift than you are comfortable with. Hope this helps!

-- Contributed by: K Pullen

I was wondering if you could help me. Friends of mine got engaged and had their party, I spent a few hundred on an engagement present. The wedding is abroad. And I was wondering what the guide lines for wedding gifts are, taking into account the extra costs and hassle it is to make it to the wedding( I.E flights, hotel, loss of earnings/Holiday days etc)

-- Contributed by: Ricky

Thank you for your comment, Christine. I certainly appreciate how you must feel! A gift should always be given through love and appreciation and never because someone has felt pressured to give. You also make a very good point about returning gifts - even if someone declines, it is still courteous to offer to return the gift.

-- Contributed by: K Pullen

It is never acceptable to "register" for engagement gifts. If you got a headstart on your shower registry and someone asks what they might get you than you can refer them to your "shower registry". But NEVER should you expect gifts and engagement party is an announcement, sort of like putting the engagement in the paper. Also, engagement parties are not meant to "collect money and gifts to pay for your wedding". Lastly, if you do have an engagement party and for whatever unfortunate reasons you end up breaking up with your fiancee...than you MUST return all gifts received for the engagement - even if you used them. You must give the gift giver the option of saying "no it's OK I want you to have it." These gifts are given as an investment in your future to make your life easier with this person. If you are not with that person they should be returned. I very unfortunately went to an engagement party in July and in August they announced the were splitting. We gave $200 cash after much pressure from the father of the groom that made us feel like this is a fancy place and we had to give a fancy gift and - Heavens they're serving lobster! Well low and behold $200 gift in July - engagement broken off in August and those 2 never even had the decency to return one gift. They probably just got the checks cashed when they realized they weren't going to stay together and they still didn't return the cash. Sadly - when you do things like this...now if and when this person ever gets engaged again - they will not be receiving a gift from us as they already received a very nice gift.

-- Contributed by: Christine

Also keep in mind that many guests will buy gifts for the wedding as well; you can combine a wedding and engagement registry to offer them a wide range of options without seeming to be pushy about gifts for the engagement. Since you are already registered, when someone asks you can let them know where to find your wish lists, but don't advertise the information as if you're expecting gifts.

-- Contributed by: Mayntz

If in your family and community of friends, it is common to give engagement rings and people are encouraging you to register, by all means, do so. The point is that it is just inappropriate to EXPECT engagement gifts. I would go ahead and register and you can subtly have your family let people know where you're registered -- I just wouldn't list it on an invitation to an engagement party! Good luck and congratulations!

-- Contributed by: Ann M.

so confusing many sites say to register and your site says its inappropriate im so confused!! I already registered and my family all wants to buy gifts so what is the appropriate thing to do now??

-- Contributed by: myche

Tyla, you should be ashamed of yourself for that comment. You have a lot of growing up to do before you become someone's wife.

-- Contributed by: Sue

I'm sorry, Tyla, but the giving of engagement gifts is still quite voluntary. I understand how excited you must be to be engaged and awaiting your wedding (and presumably your fiance is also important -- it takes two to get married!), but there are plenty of opportunities for you to receive gifts -- bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and the wedding itself, of course. Many times people do like giving engagement gifts anyway, but it's not polite to require or request engagement gifts. Think of it from the other way around -- they're likely going to buy both shower and wedding gifts already, plus the costs to attend the wedding if they are invited, and those expenses can really add up!

-- Contributed by: Mayntz

this is no good i want to be showered with gifts this is my time and i am the important one!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Contributed by: tyla
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