What to Say to a Marriage Proposal
From LoveToKnow EngagementRings
A proposal is more than a simple question, and knowing what to say to a marriage proposal is critical for choosing a new relationship path.
More Than Yes or No
When the question “Will you marry me?” hangs in the air, a lot more is at stake than a simple yes or no question. Before even the most romantic proposal, a couple should have discussed critical issues of a marital relationship, including finances, starting a family, other familial relationships, religion, household duties, career paths, and gender roles, as well as any other marital expectations. How a woman may respond to a proposal can vary widely, but she should consider that simple question to be asking much more, such as:
- Will you help with housework, cooking, cleaning, lawn care, and other chores?
- Are you willing to start a family with me and raise our children in a way that is agreeable to us both?
- Can we respect one another’s religious preferences?
- Will you become a part of my family, including my siblings and parents, and may I become a part of yours?
- Can we share the financial obligations of our lives, including debts, buying a home, paying for educations, and other expenses?
- Are you willing to work out our difficulties and compromise for both our sakes?
- Are you willing to grow old with me for many anniversaries?
- Can our love survive the hazards of a long term, changing relationship?
If the answer to these questions is tentative or negative, a woman should reconsider what to say to a marriage proposal before she chooses an answer she may regret. While certain issues are more critical to some people than to others, if a couple knows and understands one another’s views on each different subject, they are much more likely to build a happy life together.
What to Say to a Marriage Proposal: A Considerate Answer
Assuming a couple has discussed and agreed upon all the pertinent issues in their relationship, the woman needs to decide how she will respond to that age old question. While cute or funny answers may seem quaint and humorous, it is vital to consider the gentleman’s emotions at the moment and to answer the question honestly and bluntly rather than making provisions or exceptions. A simple “yes” is the preferred answer for most men, or any variation of affirmative. If, however, the woman is not sure whether or not she wants to accept, or if she knows this is not the right decision, she should answer truthfully, even if it may be awkward or painful.
What Not to Say
Asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is the single most emotional point in a couple’s relationship, and when deciding what to say in response, the woman should respect that the man has opened his heart, soul, and life to her. A quirky, nonchalant answer is disrespectful and does not bode well for the solemnity of the marriage vows, while a vague answer may leave the man wondering what the outcome will be.
At the same time, there should be no caveats or “yes, if” conditions on a marriage proposal acceptance. If a woman is unsure about her answer, she should ask for time rather than rush into an answer if she is not ready for the commitment she is agreeing to.
Finally, while the engagement ring is undoubtedly the star of a marriage proposal, the woman’s answer should have nothing to do with the ring itself. Some men many choose to propose without an engagement ring for various reasons, and a woman asking for a ring, inquiring about the price, or otherwise questioning the symbol of their relationship is tacky, low class, and improper.
What to Say After the Proposal
Once the question has been asked and answered – hopefully in the affirmative – the couple typically expresses their love for one another. Saying “I love you” or “thank you” is entirely appropriate once the answer is certain, and many couples celebrate with more boisterous responses and cheers.
If, however, the answer was no, explanations may be offered. It can be painful and emotional to reject a marriage proposal, but the proposing party has the right to know why their overture is not acceptable. Any discussions, however, should be tactful and gentle without causing more hurt and misunderstanding.
Knowing what to say to a marriage proposal is more than just knowing whether the answer is yes or no. Getting engaged is one of the most romantic moments of a couple’s relationship, and an appropriate, loving response is always best to lead to their happily ever after.
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This page has been accessed 9,707 times. This page was last modified 22:21, 31 October 2007.
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