Engagement Party Etiquette

General Engagement Party Etiquette

Engagement parties are still unfamiliar in some social circles, and knowing the basics of party etiquette can be invaluable to insure the event is smooth and enjoyable. General ideas to remember include:

• The party can be either a surprise or a more formally planned affair.
• An engagement party is not required to celebrate the couple’s relationship.
• The party should, in general, match the formality and tone of the upcoming wedding.

For the Hosts

When planning an engagement party, the hosts should remember…

• It is inappropriate for the couple to host their own party unless they are using it to announce their engagement.
• Gifts are not required for the party and no mention should be made of them in invitations.
• The party should revolve around both the bride- and groom-to-be equally.
• An engagement party should be held soon after the official announcement and at least several months prior to the wedding.

For the Couple

Engagement party etiquette tips for the happy couple include…

• An engagement party is not required and should not be expected or demanded.
• Do not register for engagement party gifts, though some guests may ask for suggestions.
• It may be helpful to have ideas about wedding dates, times, venues, and other details, but take care not to commit to suggestions you don’t feel comfortable with.
• Be prepared to show off your engagement ring by having it professionally cleaned, and be sure to have clean, well-groomed hands as well.

For the Guests

Guests invited to the event should remember these etiquette suggestions…

• Do not use the party as an opportunity to ask to be in the wedding or make other planning suggestions.
• Refrain from making non-related announcements at the party – announcing another engagement, for example.
• Take the opportunity to meet both members of the happy couple if you are not acquainted with them already.
• Keep negative judgments about the couple’s relationship and upcoming wedding private rather than airing them at the event.

Engagement Party Etiquette: After the Event

After the party, it is important for the couple to continue to observe proper etiquette to avoid alienating family members and friends who may become crucial during the months of planning. After you’ve enjoyed the party celebrating your new relationship status…

• Send thank-you notes to attendees, even if no gifts were exchanged, and be sure to thank the party’s hosts.
• Follow up on planning suggestions you are interested in, and graciously reject those you will not accept.
• Continue to include other people in your planning to cultivate strong relationships with new family members and friends.
• Do not feel obligated to invite someone to the wedding even if they attended the engagement party, but be prepared to offer an explanation if prompted (budgeting, change in relationship status with that person, etc.).

Engagement party etiquette can be tricky, but by observing social courtesy a newly engaged couple can celebrate their engagement surrounded by family members and friends. Those individuals will form the basis of the couple’s support network through the trials of wedding planning and the crucial first months of a new marriage. Beginning a new phase of their relationship surrounded by well-wishers can be one of the couple’s most cherished memories, and those friendships will last for many anniversaries to come.