Engagement Parties and Proper Etiquette

Engagement parties and proper etiquette can sometimes make all the difference in smooth party planning. Observing a certain set of rules can prevent unintentional misunderstandings. Learn the important details about engagement party etiquette.

Engagement parties are the first public recognition of a couple's engagement. While engagement parties are not required, they are an enjoyable way to honor the couple and introduce them to extended family.

There is no rule for when an engagement party should be held. Most engagement parties take place anytime within three months of the engagement and no later than six months before the wedding. Engagement parties for long engagements may occur a year before a wedding.

Engagement parties are sometimes a surprise for the couple. The majority of the time engagement parties are planned events.

Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party as a part of formally announcing the engagement. They are the first ones who offer to throw a party for their daughter. However, today it is also acceptable for friends, parents of the groom, family friends or extended family to host an engagement party.

If the groom's parents live in a separate state, they may host a second engagement party in their city to announce the engagement to family and friends in that area.

The couple does not ask someone to give them an engagement party. It should be offered by parents or friends.

It is not the responsibility of a bridesmaid, matron of honor, groomsman or best man to host an engagement party. They host the bridal shower and bachelor parties.

Generally, the engaged couple does not host their own engagement party. The only exception is if the couple plans a surprise engagement announcement. In this case, the guests don't even realize they are at an engagement party until the announcement.

Making the engagement party guest list may be a challenge. Engagement parties can be small intimate affairs or large family gatherings. Be sure to only invite people who will also be invited to the wedding.

If there is a close relative who dislikes the fiancé, invite the person to the party as a way to extend an olive branch on the condition that she comes without judgement.

The host can send out formal invitations to guests or notify people by telephone, email or an informal invite.

The tone of the engagement party should match the tone of the wedding. If planning a formal wedding, the engagement party should also be formal.

Engagement gifts are not customarily given at engagement parties. Do not mention gifts on the invitation or where the couple has a bridal registry.

Despite the fact that gifts are not expected, some people may still bring one. If someone brings a gift, the couple should thank the person and let them know that they will open the gift after the party. This will prevent others who didn't bring gifts from experiencing embarrassment.

The father of the bride usually officially proposes a toast at the engagement party. This is especially true if the bride's parents are the hosts.

The groom-to-be follows his future father-in-law and gives a toast in honor of the bride and her family.

Other people can then follow with toasts to the couple and parents, if desired.

The engaged couple should send thank you notes to everyone for attending the party, even though there were no gifts. A special thank you should be sent to the party hosts such as flowers or a fruit basket.

Understanding engagement parties and proper etiquette helps couples celebrate their engagement without awkward mistakes or misunderstandings. Etiquette also honors the roles of the parents and the couple's new role and helps create special memories.

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