Engagement Gifts

Who Gives Engagement Gifts

Gifts for the engagement should never be expected nor required, but they are fine tokens of celebration to honor the happy couple. Generally, only people very close to the couple – and the couple themselves – will give engagement gifts, as most relatives and friends anticipate upcoming wedding gifts.

The Couple

The bride- and groom-to-be will often exchange gifts to commemorate their engagement. While the bride has received an engagement ring, she may wish to find a suitable token of her commitment to give her soon-to-be husband, such as a nice watch, tie tack, or even his own engagement ring. In return, the groom may give the bride additional jewelry (perhaps something she will wear at the wedding, particularly an heirloom from his family) or something associated with her ring, such as a jewelry box or matching diamond earrings.

The Parents

Naturally, both sets of parents are the people closest to the impending nuptials, and they will often offer engagement gifts to the happy couple. They may choose sentimental heirlooms, practical wedding-planning items, or perhaps the first items that will grace the couple’s new home as they make their life together.

Friends and Relatives

It is less common for friends and relatives to give gifts, particularly if their relationship to the couple is more distant. A simple trinket, such as a thoughtful card or dinner gift certificate, may be offered in celebration, though such items should never be expected.

Gift Ideas

Because weddings involve lists of registered gifts, many guests choose to delay any gift-giving until they can choose items they know the couple wants and needs. Engagement presents should be given early enough in the planning that the couple has not yet registered for gifts, however, making such easy selections impossible. Without a preplanned list, there are still any number of suitable choices:

• Wedding planning books, calendars, or guides
• Bridal magazine subscriptions, particularly if the wedding is a year or more away
• Dinner-for-two gift certificates the couple can share
• Movie or event tickets for two
• Wedding accessories, such as a guestbook or cake serving set
• Specialized engagement congratulations cards (found in card stores near the wedding selection)
• Nostalgic heirloom items such as the “something old” or “something blue” for family traditions

If the engagement period is short and the couple has already registered for wedding gifts, it may be wiser to give wedding gifts rather than doubling up with engagement ones as well. On the other hand, most couples do not receive everything from their wedding registry and the extra thought will be appreciated.

Engagement Gift Etiquette

Gifts are not required and should never be expected, even from parents and close friends. Because many people are not accustomed to engagement gifts, there are many gray areas of gift etiquette, though the following guidelines are generally appropriate:

• Engagement presents are not required, even if an engagement party is thrown
• Couples should never register for nor hint at gifts (no enclosures in invitations, etc.)
• Thank you notes are necessary as soon as possible after the gift is received
• Giving a gift should not be a requirement to receive a wedding invitation
• Giving an engagement gift is voluntary and does not take the place of a wedding gift
• If given, presents should be offered as soon as possible after the engagement announcement
• If the engagement is broken, gifts must be returned promptly – including the monetary value of tickets or certificates

Different families have different customs regarding gifts. Some families consider it a necessity, while others are wholly unfamiliar with the practice. How the couple handles the concept of engagement gifts may be their first experience with compromising between their two families, serving as good practice for the inevitable minor (even major) issues that arise during wedding planning. The most important thing for the couple to remember is that this is a period in their relationship worth celebrating, with or without gifts, and hopefully it will lead to a long life together with many more happy memories.