Diamond Promise Rings

Promise Ring History

Promise rings evolved from different traditions. Centuries ago, a girl might have received a betrothal ring at any age to signify that her family had reached a contractual marriage agreement with a young man’s family, though the wedding may be years away. In the 1940s and 1950s, couples often exchanged class rings or fraternity pins as symbols of their relationship, and those tokens were interpreted as promises to remain together and faithful. In the 1990s, couples began to exchange diamond promise rings as a direct prelude to engagement rings, and other types of rings have become fashionable to represent different oaths.

Types of Diamond Promise Rings

Promise rings come in a range of styles. The most common design is a small diamond set in either yellow or white gold, typically with a diamond chips as accent stones. Semi-precious gems may be used as center stones, and many designs include engraved names or figural accents. Hearts, in particular, are the most popular shape for both the stone and surrounding metal detailing.

Why Aren’t They Engagement Rings?

To the untrained eye, diamond promise rings bear a striking resemblance to engagement rings. There are several differences between them, however, including:

• Size: Promise ring diamonds are typically smaller carat weights than those in engagement rings; in fact, most promise rings are less than one-quarter total carat weight, and measurements such as one-tenth or one-eighth are common.
• Metal: While engagement rings may be set in platinum, titanium, or even multiple metals, most promise rings use lower quality metals.
• Cost: The typical promise ring ranges from under $100 to no more than $500, and average prices are under $200. Engagement rings routinely cost over $500, with designer rings and elaborate styles costing thousands of dollars.
• Design: While promise rings look virtually identical to engagement rings, they do not feature set options or elaborate gem use. Promise rings may include more figural accents and shapes than most engagement rings.
• Wearer: Promise rings are typically reserved for adolescents, whereas engagement rings are worn by adults who are capable of making the legal commitment of marriage.

The biggest difference between a promise ring and an engagement ring, however, is its intent.

Meanings of Diamond Promise Rings

Most people assume that the promise a ring signifies is eventual marriage, and that is the most popular definition. A promise ring relating to marriage usually indicates that the wedding is several years away, often because one or both members of the couple are too young to legally wed, or there may be other extenuating circumstances.

Additional promise ring meanings include:

• Religious Purity: Often given from parents to children to symbolize sexual abstinence or a religious commitment. Another religious connotation may be an individual’s promise to follow the teachings of a particular saint.
• Friendly Promises: A ring exchanged between friends – whether a boy and a girl or two girls – can symbolize many different oaths, including keeping secrets, being best friends, abstaining from smoking or drinking, or keeping in touch across distances. Depending on the promise, the rings may be exchanged between friends of any age or marital status.
• Committed Relationships: A ring exchanged between a boy and a girl may indicate a monogamous, committed relationship other than engagement or marriage – the equivalent of “going steady.”

Alternative Ring Designs

figural promise ring.

Most diamond promise rings resemble petite versions of engagement rings, but there are many alternative designs to suit any type of promise, commitment, or jewelry preference. Intertwined double hearts are a popular variation, as are customizable rings with specific birthstones or engraved names. Exchanging class rings continues to be popular among high school students. When choosing a ring, avoid simple wedding ring designs or eternity rings, since they may be easily mistaken for wedding rings, potentially leading to awkward or embarrassing assumptions.

When to Give Diamond Promise Rings

Friends may exchange significant rings whenever they feel there is a promise to be made, whether it is intended as a simple acknowledgement of a friendship or there is a deeper commitment. Many young couples offer promise rings when they are ready to commit to a long term relationship but they are unable to become engaged (they may be underage, unable to afford a marriage commitment, or may prefer to wait until after college, for example). Popular dates include birthdays, graduations, and anniversaries of significant points in their relationship, such as a first kiss or first date. The most important thing to clarify when giving a promise ring is that both individuals must understand the intention: diamond promise rings, in particular, may be inadvertently mistaken for engagement rings, an error which can lead to hurt feelings and a broken friendship.

Wearing a Promise Ring

Most promise rings are worn on the left hand, particularly if they are a prelude to a more elaborate engagement ring. If there is no matrimonial connotation to the ring, however, it may be wiser to wear it on the right hand to avoid any confusion, either by the wearer or other friends noticing the new jewelry.

From best friends to young lovers, diamond promise rings have many meanings. Whatever the ultimate purpose, however, the distinguishing characteristic is that they denote a significant relationship, one that bonds two people together as surely as any formal vow.